reflecting on the journey
Loving like Jesus brings crosses and resurrections,
not crowds.
“Transformational Ministries.” At least, that’s what it was called, twenty years ago, when we – as a congregation – began. Of course, it’s a thing of the past, nowadays. “Renewing Congregations” is the latest incarnation. According to the webpage, it’s “a biblical journey in which ELCA congregations deepen their understanding of the word of God, expand their practice of the word in the world, and are inspired to share with others the beauty of the word.” They waxed poetic! Bottom line, renewingCongregatons is one more way of attempting to reverse current trends confronting us. Confronting us as congregation. Confronting us as denomination. The current trend of slowly, surely, drying up and blowing away. Especially out here, in West Texas. For the past fifty years, we’ve been grasping at straws. Trying to find that silver bullet, finally, turning things around. And transformationalMinistries was – is – one of those projectiles.
It was shortly after I got to Midland that we applied to take part in the program. We were accepted and, at the end of January, 2002, four of us went to Dallas to attend a conference. Since that time, more than once, it felt like it was over. Like we hit a dead end. But something would happen, and we’d be at it, again! A venture with no end in sight! A path untrodden! Perils unknown! That was us! And step by step, oasis by oasis, we’ve been making our way across the wilderness. And a generation later, we’re still making our way. Like the saints before us. Like the saints after us. But then, that’s what it’s like to believe. To stake your life on something so certain and so sure that you have to keep on keeping on!
Once upon a time, we were like everyone else. We had a temple. A cathedral. But it became a luxury we could no longer afford. So now, we’re here. Together. On the road less traveled by. And that, like the poet says, has made all the difference. Of course, everyone had advice to give. About singing the songs we sang. About saying the prayers. About thinking – living – outside the box! Over the years, we served pancakes. We spent time with grandparents, parents so that children, grandchildren could catch their breath. But after all is said and done, our status is still quo and our current trajectory hasn’t changed all that much. We still grow grayer. We still get smaller. Word of god, word of life!
I have to admit, I wake up in the middle of the night, wrestle with angels, as Luther calls it. Wondering what we’re doing wrong. Wondering what we’re not doing right. Then, this past week, I reread that description of transformational ministry. Of congregational renewal. And you know, I think I’m beginning better to understand. True, we’re growing older. And yes, we’re getting smaller. But it may not be because we’re doing something – anything – all that wrong! And maybe, we’re, even, doing “church” better than we think! (Unless, of course, this is just the wishful thinking of a pastor at the end of his career.) “Congregational renewal is a biblical journey in which ELCA congregations deepen their understanding of the word of God!” Deepen their understanding of Jesus Christ! Deepen their understanding of the gospel! And that’s what we’ve been doing – or rather, trying to do – for the past twenty years! The only problem …
We’ve been so focused – so fixated – on numbers we haven’t noticed what was happening to us! In fact, back in the Eighties, when the ELCA – the “new” church – was being crafted, we all figured it was number -inspired! Number-generated! Becoming the largest Lutheran denomination, the fourth largest Protestant denomination – in the U.S. It wasn’t. It was about the faith! It was ALWAYS about the faith! Our dream wasn’t about size; it was about, finally, becoming church! The dream was of being – of becoming – what the name says. An evangelical! Lutheran! Church! In America! Being and becoming a church rooted – rooted deeply – in god’s amazing grace! And that, probably, was our big “mistake.” Because if there’s one thing Americans – and westTexans, in particular – don’t want, don’t think they need, that one thing is grace! Charity! Love! We’d much rather do it ourselves, thank you very much! We don’t want to be beholden to anyone! And that’s been especially true, these past two or three decades …
As our “culture” veers away from love, it, also, trends away from the churches that preach love, as well! Churches like us … we’re accused of being liberal! Progressive! Unbiblical! Truth is, we love! We just love! That’s why we ordained women! Why we welcome and who don’t look like us or sound like us or act like us! Why partnerships with other churches are dear to us! God loves! We love! We love – at least, on a good day – because that’s what god does! The article we’ve been mulling over, the past few Wednesday evenings … “Will the ELCA be Gone in 30 Years?” What if it’s not because we’ve been doing something wrong? What if it’s not because we’ve been doing ANYTHING wrong? What if that’s as long as a church like ours can last? What if that’s as long as a church like ours can survive? At a time and in a place like this! Love loves! That’s what loves does! And eventually, there’s a cross! And when that happens, love dies! But it does only to rise in the ones it loved!
Sure, we can grow! We can prosper! If our world is balanced. Tranquil. Calm. But if the world begins to shake. If it teeters and tilts and topples – like it has – away from love … If it cascades into anxiety and fear, into panic and terror … then who we are and what we believe becomes the enemy. The world turns away and looks for others more like the world. One church dies; another flourishes. One is pushed aside, laid to rest, while the other thrives. Lording over. Being the tyrant. But of the two, only the first is faithful. Of the two, only the first is truly church.
So, for twenty years, for an entire generation, we’ve been on a journey. A biblical journey on which our understanding of the Word of God has deepened! On which our practice of that Word has expanded! On which we have been inspired. Inspired to share the beauty of that Word with others! Inspired to share that beauty with creation itself! And if that means our life, at some time, must come to an end … well … so be it!
Because you see, my friends, even if that happens … when that happens … there will be a time when the curtain will be torn in two! There will come a time when the earth shakes and the rocks split! A time when the graves open and the dead rise! And those standing by … those seeing it happen … in wonder … and in awe … will tell the world … “Truly! Truly this was god’s own people!”